Bills, Bills, Bills
by 64thestarkidwholived
Summary: Dear Diary, I met a new worker named J. Pierrepont Finch. He's very good-looking, but I'm just a secretary. Rosemary Finch, though, sounds lovely to me, What do you think, Diary?
1. Meeting Ponty

Dear Diary,

HUGE news: there's a new employee in World Wide Wickets. Normally, you know I wouldn't be nearly so excited but, Diary, guess what? He's cute! After Gordon - you remember him, right? That ignorant man a few years ago who had claimed to falling in love with me, his secretary, and reduced me to a whole year of secret love - broke my heart, maybe this J. Pierrepont Finch is exactly what I need.

We met today, when he wanted to meet Mr. Bratt. Immediately, my heart stopped when I saw those eyes. Oh, those big, deep brown eyes that demand attention! And his smile...mesmerizing. I could just gaze into his eyes, melt into the chocolate-colored lakes, forever, had it not been for the world happening around us.

But Finch didn't even notice a thing. He just...went on with his life, his job, his ambition. But I'm not giving up. I can't get that vision of the two of us living together in New Rochelle out of my mind.


	2. Crescendo

**Okay, so, you might notice that I have skipped a few lines at a few points. That's because they either curse or something of the sort.**

Dear Diary,

You'd never believe what happened today!

I was going out to a reception for that Advertising Department head, so I decided to go out and buy the cutest outfit. It was gorgeous, an original creation of beauty from Paris, and absolutely me.

I got to the reception, all excited to show him how beautiful I look, and I was giving myself a little pep-talk - you know how men love confident women.

"This irresistible Paris original I'm wearing tonight-" I am about to say 'will set dear Finch right, and I'll have him', when some woman enters, clad in the exact same dress!

I screamed, then continued with lyrics to better suit the situation. "-She's wearing tonight, and I could spit!" How dare she! I mean, I understand that the whole mistake is probably not her fault, but...I was so excited, and I now could practically see the visions of Mrs. Rosemary Finch and her dear, busy husband that I had been positive could be reality, just flying out the window.

Calm down, Rosie, I reminded myself. You don't want to look blotchy! "Some irresponsible dress manufacturer just didn't play fair," I said to myself, trying not to choke the phony dressed like me. But now I'm furious with the saleswoman and this...this...copycat, for lack of a better word. "I'm one of a pair, and I could-" Once again, I was interrupted - by another girl in my Paris Original dress to compete with for Ponty's attention!

This became a full-on verbal battle, and you would not believe how many women walked in trying to work that dress better than the one before. Finally, Hedy, that narcissistic she-devil, flounced in, and all those men who had stood by as dozens of us argued in the same dress as Hedy, widened their eyes and cried out, "What a dress!"

I know, worst day ever, right? Anyway, I took a seat next to Smitty. She's a bit of a meddling gossip, but I feel a bit indebted to her after she got Ponty to talk to me.

"Hey," She giggled. "Where's Finch?"

I forced a chuckle. "I don't know. Busy man, Ponty."

"There's a reason they're busi-ness-men," She emphasized each syllable. "Busy men, get it? Anyway, how'd your date go?"

"Oh, I don't know," I sighed. "He's probably not interested in me."

"Rosemary," Smitty looked condescendingly at me. "Honey, you're gorgeous. And I know people. I know what he's thinking, and you should know full well that you need to go and get him before he's taken!"

I thought about it. "You know what? You're right. I'm going to confess to him by the end of tonight."

"Hey, Finchy, let's dance!" I heard suddenly, and whipped my head around to see Hedy, that dog, with her arms around Ponty! I was about to take off these gloves and throw some punches when I saw him pull away, and the other men gently peeled her away from him. I realized that Hedy was as tipsy as a pair of teenagers sneaking into their parents' liquor cabinet, and the first thing I learned as a teenager was not to bother a drunk person - or was it a sleepwalker? Well, I was not taking any chances.

Seeing everyone preparing to dance, I jumped up and rushed over to Finch. We all danced, but I returned to my seat once my feet absolutely couldn't handle another step in those heels.

"Hello, again!" Smitty grinned. "I saw you and Finchy..."

I let out a girlish giggle by accident. "Yeah...dancing..."

"And...?"

"And...what?" I asked.

"Did you tell him? About the thing?" She prompted.

"He doesn't know how I feel about him," I confirmed.

"...Biggley's office..." I heard Frump, that jerk who keeps picking on Finch, saying a few feet to my right. I turned briefly toward the noise, and saw Ponty nod and turn on his heel to go to Biggley's office. Wait, I realized. Hedy went to go shower in Biggley's office. No. No no no no no no.

"Rosemary!" Smitty tapped my bare shoulder, throwing me out of my mental rampage. "If you don't go now, you'll lose him to someone else! Like, I don't know...Hedy or someone!"

She's right. Why should I let that happen to him? I nodded and stood up. Smoothing the skirt of my dress, I stumbled along in my heels toward the elevator.

In the elevator, I rehearsed. Listen, Ponty, this is hard to admit, and I'm not sure if you feel the same way, but I love you...too forward? What about if I slowly began a conversation, and worked into my confession? "No!" I cried out loud. "Know what you want! Him!" Suddenly, I realized the elevator doors had slid open, to reveal several disturbed, confused men in suits and ties standing before me.

"Oh..." I forced a girlish giggle, embarrassed. They probably thought I was completely insane.

I slid past them, wishing to turn invisible, and raced to Biggley's office. My hand rested on the doorknob. This moment was going to be either my downfall or...the fulfilling of dreams and prophecies. I took a deep breath and turned the knob. But Hedy was nowhere to be found.

"Ponty!" I cried. "I heard Frump talking at the party. Where is she?"

He held out his arms, a look of ecstasy on his beautiful face. "Rosemary! Something wonderful has happened!"

I looked at him, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"Can't you hear it? Can't you hear it?" I'd never seen him look so happy. "Suddenly, there is music at the sound of your name!"

"I...can't hear it," I told him. What's Ponty up to?

He held up his hands, as if to say 'wait, wait!' "Rosemary! Just listen, it's all around! Beautiful, like a pink sky..."

I chuckled. "J. Pierrepont Finch, have you lost your mind?" Even as I said it, I hoped he hadn't. I hoped this was the ernest Finch-being-Finch.

He approached closer, deliberately. "Rosemary, darling, will you marry J. Pierrepont Finch?"

I grinned. Finch-being-Finch, all right. I laughed excitedly. "I hear it! I hear it!" I shouted. And I could. I could hear wedding bells, heartbeats, and...Finch - his face, voice, everything - the sweet tune of love. "Suddenly, there is music at the sound of your name...J. Pierrepont!" I sang.

"Rosemary!" He sang back, taking my dainty secretary hands in his own. "Just imagine if we kissed. What a crescendo-" He pulled his mouth to mine, and I could feel the music grow louder, heartbeats colliding and practically dancing together to their own sound, my soul drinking in the song of being in love.

"Not to be missed," I was completely dazed. This moment I'd wanted since I'd met him...there it was. Right there. I could still taste his mouth on mine, and it tasted like envelope glue.

We flopped backwards and sat together on the sofa, one hand of mine still captured in his. "As for the rest of my lifetime program, give me more of the same-" He sang, pulling me gently so I sat on the other end of the couch, and he stood beside the armrest opposite me. "Rosemary! Rosemary!" He warbled.

"J. Pierrepont! J. Pierrepont!" I sang out, moving closer. "There is wonderful music at the very sound of your name!"

Suddenly, Hedy, that horrible woman, entered wearing a towel wrapped around her! I felt cheated. I thought he loved me, and he just...dropped me. Tears welled up in my eyes, tiny bitter lakes, slowly overflowing.

"I'm sorry that I never noticed before! It's...it's like I'm seeing you for the first time!" Ponty said to me.

"I'm not seeing you for the first time!" I pulled away.

"This is very easily explained," He began, gesturing to the towel-clad secretary. "You don't understand, I-"

"Oh, yes I do," I interrupted him. "Go ahead, kiss her again! See if I care." I ran from the room, humiliated beyond anything, even worse than the men in the elevator, even worse than Gordon, before he was fired. I stopped for a moment, just beyond the closed door.

"What do I do now?" I heard Ponty moan to Hedy. Did I really matter to him? This caught my attention, and I stayed at the door.

"Let's do what she said," Hedy suggested.

This was too much. "Get back in there!" I shouted, rushing back in.

"I have nothing to hide!" She called back to me as I chased her.

"Oh, yes you do! And keep it there!" I screamed after her. "Now," I made my way back to Ponty, my truest love. "Kiss me." I pressed those envelope-flavored lips to my own lipstick-coated mouth and melted into nothingness for but one second of bliss.

"FINCH!" Biggley entered, startling me away from Ponty. He blushed, seeing us. "I'm sorry, I thought-"

I had to think of a decent lie, but my time in the office with girls like Hedy to create gossip and girls like Smitty to pass it on had made me an excellent story-creator at a moment's notice. "It's my fault! I...I insisted that Finch show me your office!" Weak, I suppose, but I couldn't just stand there and think.

"I see," He thought over this. "I see. Well, actually, I just came in to wash up," He made his way toward the bathroom. With the shower. With Hedy.

This, too, was going to take quick thinking to keep Biggley away. I gestured to him that he needed to wait a moment, and I ran into the bathroom.

Hedy, finally sober, was pulling on her dress - my Paris original - when I entered. "Hedy," I whispered. "Stay quiet for a moment."

We remained quiet, but I heard nothing of the happenings in the office. Suddenly, I finally heard Ponty. "Girls! You can come out now!" Hedy, now clothed and put-together, flounced out with me. "Rosemary," He grinned proudly. "I have a great surprise for you! I've been made vice president!"

"Congratulations! Can I be your secretary?" Hedy asked. Please, no, please, no, please, no...

"I'd love that, Hedy," Ponty said. "But Rosemary's going to be my secretary!" Thank you!

"Guess I'll have wait for that Finch until after he's married," I heard Hedy mutter, walking away.

Finch looked at me hopefully, expectantly, arms held wide. "Rosemary?"

"I'm going to be your secretary," I repeated.

"Well, of course! Now I'm in charge of this whole apartment!"

I decided to try my hand at flirty. "And what makes you think I'd be your secretary? I'm rather tired..."

"Rosemary!" He pleaded. "You must! You have to! I'm in charge of advertising now! Do you know how much of a tough job that is?" He stepped closer. "I can't do it without your help! Rosemary...I need you!"

I couldn't believe my ears. "You do? Then...all right, I guess I'll be your secretary."

His gorgeous face lit up. "Wonderful! Let's get to work!" He tugged my hand.

I stopped him. "Haven't you forgotten something?"

"Yes!" Ponty ran back, lifting up the phone on his new desk. "Hello? Operator? Who paints names on office doors?"

Boys. They're so ridiculous. "Weren't you going to kiss me?"

He looked incredulous. "I can't!"

He could a moment before. "Why not?"

"Because," He explained. "You're my secretary."

****He was mine, but he was gone at the same time, gone to a phone call oozing with ambition.


	3. I Do

Dear Diary,

Oh, it's excellent! I'm walking down that aisle in only fifteen minutes! Fate's finally paying me back for everything it's given me, and then some! Right now, I'm just waiting, practicing walking in this long wedding dress so I don't trip. Oh, and writing in my diary, of course!

"Oh, Rosie-Posie, you look _gorgeous!" _Mother shrieked when she walked in, getting teary-eyed at the sight of me in my wedding dress. After much shopping, searching, and consideration, we had decided upon an elegant white dress with a sweetheart neckline, thin lace straps for sleeves, and lace covering the bodice. my hair is in an updo, accentuated by a headband that matches the dress. I hope Ponty loves it, the way we love each other.

"Thanks, Mother," I smiled. "And you can always visit us, over in New Rochelle."

Last week, Ponty and I pored over newspapers in the kitchen at my house, searching for the perfect house for the future Mr. and Mrs. Finch, the soon-to-be newlyweds, to live.

"This house? In Brooklyn?" Ponty pointed to a two-story, three bedroom house. Because of how far up the ladder Ponty is, we can afford somewhat expensive houses.

I took in every detail. "No. There's hardly any yard space. When we have children, they'll need somewhere to have tea parties and picnics or, I don't know, play football and wrestle."

Ponty considered this, thinking of how our children could have fun in a big backyard. "Good idea. What about this one in Yonkers?" He pointed to another.

It was a cute house. Big, but not too big, with a backyard almost as big as the house. Nice, really, but...

"How's this?" I pointed to another house I liked. Five bedrooms, big backyard. I could definitely imagine living out my fantasy life with J. Pierrepont Finch as my husband in that house.

He leaned over, laying his head affectionately on my shoulder as he looked at the picture. A delighted shiver went down my spine. Who knew, when we first met, that this would happen?

"Oh, I like this! It's really nice!" He kissed me on the cheek. "Where is it?"

I'd forgotten to look at that essential part of the house. I glanced over at the address, then smiled. "New Rochelle."

"I love it!" He exclaimed, jumping onto one of the kitchen chairs in excitement.

I laughed. "Ponty, get off of the chairs! They're not very sturdy!"

He grinned at me, but then he lost his balance, stumbling. I gasped, grabbing his hand. He steadied himself, then turned his face to smile at me. "I meant to do that," He joked, sitting down on the chair. He pulled me closer to him, wrapped his arms around my waist, and gently kissed me. "Just a few more days," He whispered in my ear.

Now, here I am, ready to go. Soon, I will be Mrs. Finch, living with my dear, beautiful husband, the Chairman of the Board, in our dream home in New Rochelle.

A thought just hit me - what if things change? What if he stops being in love with me? What if I stop being in love with him? Then we'd be...lovers who don't love each other!

I am going down the aisle in a minute or so, but I'm so scared now! "Mother," I whisper. "I'm scared. Is this a good idea?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "You're making a great choice. Stop writing in that little diary and get married. I love you."

I can do this. But...I need to stop writing now, so I can go get married to J. Pierrepont Finch. I love writing those words! Anyway, written for the last time ever before it's old news...

Rosemary Pilkington


End file.
